


Not that simple

by valerierosemberg



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War (Marvel), Gen, Non-Graphic Violence, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 15:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13662195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valerierosemberg/pseuds/valerierosemberg
Summary: Forgive and forget?How can he when his mind keeps replaying a single scene over and over again?Old wounds and a new fear meet and maybe this time it will take too long to heal.





	Not that simple

There was a flash in  the screen and a road appeared; the sinking feeling in his gut appeared even before realization came to him. You have to be kidding me.

-I know that road. What is this?

He expected a fight, an expositional monologue and an easy win he could make witty remarks about when he came back home to that beeping "on-hold" light; but this was going too far. It was completely ridiculous; he knew exactly what he was about to watch.

As on cue, before he could find a button to push or find it within him to just destroy the screen, the video showed a car crashing against a tree. Tony had memorized the road, the odds, every single detail of that day was in the back of his mind at all times; but he never saw it actually happen, and he of course never imagine d he would see that black-cladded man on the bike get close to his father still moving body.

He should've looked away, even curling into a ball would've been better than keeping his eyes on that screen; but his body refused to move, it refused to even  acknowledge the men standing beside him. In retrospective, he thinks he should've done that above all else, just to see the man at his right lowering his face in shame and pain, still  maintaining his gun high to protect a man he was sure would end up wanting to kill him; but he didn't.

He kept looking the video, where Howard's hoarse voice begged for the life of his wife just before getting his face lifted by the other. Even if his mind still refused to admit there was a very small chance the  long-haired man with a metal arm was someone else, Tony heard  his father's voice; it was no more pained as it was surprised, scared. It was futile to think how much pain his father felt when that first blow came from the hand of a man he probably had once called a friend; but it wasn't all that much later he himself would find the answer of that.

Shock made him look at the man in the eyes at first, his body starting to shake in disbelief. He couldn’t stop his eyes from returning to the screen once more, his teeth starting to grit with anger, just to immediately close them when the agonizing scream of her mother reached his ears.

So many thoughts were running through his head but, at the same time, he could only focus on a small beg for his mother to be  alright; but much like the  childish beg for a movie he'd seen a thousand times to end differently, he watched in horror as the man moved from the driver's side towards the heavy-breathing woman.

Another thought immediately occupied Tony's head in that moment. All this fighting, all the disagreeing and  ex asperated faces seemed so small now; the airport fight that had seemed the end of their friendship looked like miles away from the men standing in front of this screen, watching silently as Roger's life-long friend chocked the life out of his mother.

All this time, he had thought this was about different views of "right", he had assured himself his task was only to prove Steve wrong, as he usually did. And in the  process, he had  realized just how dangerous their fights could get;  his best friend had gotten hurt and he had even resorted to getting a kid into...

By the time Tony's thoughts had come to this point, Barnes image had walked to the camera and with the same  abrupt hit he felt on his chest, he shot at it and the video ended.

Peter.

He had brought that kid into this fight with a very simple two step reasoning; he would stay away from the main fight -"keep your distance, web them up", he drilled those words into his tiny stubborn head-; and the second step was, it was them, they were friends and the possibilities of a punch directed to Peter hurting him –not just bruise, but actually hurt him- was slim even on the worst case scenario.

But this changed everything. That fight wasn't against his friends and Steve's brainwashed best friend who was a little too in deep to be walking around freely; the fight was against a man who had murder his parents in cold blood. No amount of brain washing excuse could make Tony forget that.

Even now, body healing and phone in hand, he can't get the image of Peter fighting him; his chest still hurts at the mere thought of "what if". What if Barnes had  snapped? What if the constant image of his parents was replaced by one of Peter, laying on his back, bloody mask in his hand and breathing heavily as that black-cladded man stood over him, hand reaching for his throat?

That's why he hasn't called. No matter how much Rodey improves, no matter how much the entire thing settles in his mind, the thought of Peter in  harm's way because of him, still aches his hand away from the flip-phone; because Steve had lied to him, and by lying he had as much fault in that as he himself had.

And with every call he made to Happy and asked about Peter's whereabouts, the pain comes back, the fear grows stronger. He planted a seed in this kid's brain and maybe one day he would have to pay for it; maybe one day it will be Peter, laying bloody and defenseless on the cold floor as  someone gives him that final blow.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I should be reading Beowulf, but a twitter thread I made a while ago kept bugging me and I just had to write this.  
> I have to say, as it is usual with my fics, this kinda made me want to punch myself in the face.  
> Also, fun-fact about me: I'm actually Team Cap, but I just love Tony so damn much and he just breaks my heart.
> 
> Btw, here's the thread: https://twitter.com/snowrosemberg/status/956342668686012416


End file.
